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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Foster 2 Adopt and our Family Growing

Hello Luvies!

I hope that all is well! Yesterday I let y'all in on some stuff that has been going on in our little family lately and where I've been. Let me go a little more in depth and tell the whole story.

We've always wanted kidS, as in plural, more than more, no only children, etc. and yes while technically we do have two kids (one from my hubby's previous marriage who is 24 and has lived with us since he was 8) they both essentially grew up at only children. Jeffrey moved down here the summer he turned 8, Hubster and I met that December, engaged the following February and married that September (yes a whirlwind BUT my sister has me beat her and BIL meet, engaged and married within 2 week of setting eyes on one another). Anywho we immediately started trying knowing that we wanted kids, well almost a decade, 1 major surgery, 2 minor surgeries and countless fertility treatments later we got preggers with our Lil Buckearoo. Jeffrey was 17 when Cor was born, a year later Jeffrey moved out on his own. We knew we prolly would have to go back and have fertility treatments again for more kids, but we tried on our own for a couple years, then went back  and timing was off, and then went back again a couple years later, and the news wasn't great. The doctor wanted me to loose a minimum of 60 #'s before he would do any treatments, I know that he is only looking our for mine and any baby's health but for a person that has had a lifelong addiction to food. well that is tantamount to a death sentence of a dream. I still completely love and respect our doc, but it doesn't change the circumstances and the out come. So I tried as hard as I could and to not get all engrossed it hasn't worked out. I do not want my kids to be only children again, been there and done that. i want them close, not like uncle/nephew. i know people tell me all the time 'shell, it';s the love not the age difference.' i totally get that, but i grew up with a sister whose 2.5 yrs older than me and i want that relationship for my child.

So we looked into adoption, and whoa nelly, i would have to sell both kidneys and some other organs to afford it. Bubba Hubster was adopted as an infant almost 45 yrs ago and if we go thru the same agency he gets a 'discount' (i know sick and sad, but i was grateful for whatever i could get/do to lower the cost). But even with the discount it was still an estimated range of 30-40 K!! When I said I want kids I mean 2 or 3 MORE, but through private adoption it would be just one. I have always been a firm believer that it doesn't matter the quantity of kids you have it the quality of kids you raise. but that doesn't squelch the yearning in my heart and the fact that I know Jesus put me on this earth to be a Momma and Wife, nothing more, that is my sole calling. As a young girl I always thought about foster care, and it's always been in my heart, but Papa Bear had some reservations, mainly about getting attached and then the child going back. So we talked and prayed, talked and prayed and talked and prayed some more. Then a lady in our office started fostering, and to see how much those kids blossomed just having someone look after them. nuture them, and love them, well we knew it was our path. So that weekend was a men's retreat Bubba Hubster was attending and I told him to talk all weekend with the Lord and make sure this was His path for us. He came home and said it was, that he now had a calmness about it and a knowing that everything would work out like He designed it to. So we contacted a few friends who were in the fostering scene and got their feelings on their agency. At Christmas time we worked with a friend at church that worked at a foster care agency to provide presents for one of her families through our office and Sunday School class. We checked out her agency and the fit was just tailor made for us, I can text her all my crazy questions, redundant questions, etc and she never gets agitated. So we've been doing our classes at their office, and i just completely ADORE her boss, he explains things so well, and if you have 1,287 questions he will take the time to answer all 1,287 of them! We have one in house class left and two internet classes, then the fire marshall inspection, the health/home inspection, and a 6 HOUR interview. Then we wait for a placement. We're open to any race, nationality, gender, sibling groups, singletons, etc, we don't care about any of that, we just want kids we can love and raise and an enlarged family. We can have up to 5 placed with us, but I don't know if we will have that many or not, the Lord will tell us when our family is complete, wether its one or five more or somewhere in between.

Now the nitygrity and the MIILLIIIOOOONNN dollar question, "How are you not going to allow yourself to get attached?" uumm, i'm not, i will absolutely fall in love with each and every child that is placed with us. As my friend here at the office who fosters says, "How could you NOT get attached? If you are human you will get attached." I explained it this way to my momma - I told her that I hope we get to keep everyone that is ever placed with us. BUT if we don't that means those parents worked their tale ends off to get their kids back and if they can have as beautiful experience as I've had/am having raising Cor then I will suffer that heartache. We had a grown up discussion with cor and asked him how he felt about doing this, and sometimes they do go back to their mommy's and daddy's and how would he feel if that happened. He thought about for  a few minutes and asked me, " well would it be ok if i missed them and cried sometimes?"<yes, that is his heart> we said of course, that we would all do that, he said 'ok then, when do we get some bubbies and sissies!?' We are going the Foster To Adopt route which means that we offer foster care until they are reunited if that works or adoptable status is reached. Then we would petition for adopting them (can you tell i have my heart set on several kids i keep using the word THEM, lol).

So that ladies and gents is the whole story (more than you prolly ever wanted to hear) of our children journey.

On another note we do have to have a small family scrapbook for the agency and when we petition for adoption and all. A couple weeks ago I was contacted from my memories suite about digital scrapbooking and all, they are giving me two - yes!! TWO copies of their software, one for me to try out and one for me to host a giveaway!! i was so freaking excited it was C-R-A-Z-Y!! So I plan on using that software to do our family scrapbook to show y'all how great and wonderful it is and to host that giveaway next week. Check back Monday evening!! I'm so excited I can't wait to dig into it, I've already drooled all over the website, www.MyMemories.com so come back and try to win a copy of their website!

6 comments:

Susan Senese

Michelle, you are a wonderful mother and the children that will come into your life with be so blessed - as will you. I've a friend and he and his wife became foster parents with the hope to one day adopt. And it worked out well for them. They now have a daughter that is a little younger than Noah and they are so happy. And the children that came into their lives and then moved on were so blessed for the time they had with them. Trust me, a little time filled with love, hope, encouragement, healing and happiness can make all the difference and I know that you have all of that and more to give. I am just so proud of you, you are an inspiration!

Our Little Orphanage C

I enjoyed reading your story. How excited you and your family must be to be so close to getting more little kiddos. I've no doubt that they will be as much of a blessing to you as you will be to them. I'm happy for you:-) congratulations

Maillardville Manor

LOVED IT! You are brave and so loving! I think your heart is big enough to fit in an army of kidlets!!! You're my new hero!!! I'll be following your journey!!
Lots of Love
Ashli

Ioana-Carmen

Love your blog, check mine and we can follow each other if you like :)

FashionSpot.ro

Jessica @ Stay at Home-ista

So happy for you! I have a few friends who have done the fost-to-adopt and while it can be a roller coaster, you will be so far ahead since you already have 2 of your own. Good luck!

Jessica
stayathomeista.com

Marcela Gmd

Beautiful!!! take a look on my blog and if you like we can follow each other?
Besos, desde EspaƱa, Marcela♥

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