Here are a few things I've learned recently. Please read, think about it, take what you can, use it and leave the rest.
1) Consul with people when they reach out to you. Seriously, you have no idea how much that person needs to know that you don't judge them. Knowing that people are there for you, wether you agree with their decisions is not the issue, it can make such a hard, gut-wrenching decision some what easier. Your lack of response makes that person think a million different things, yes, it really does.
2) Do not change who you are, your personality - NOTHING - about you to try and make the "in" people like you. Yes, I am almost 37 years old, but NOONE likes to be rejected, everyone likes to be liked. Hell we NEED to be liked, it's human nature, BUT if you change yourself, you will regret it knowing that they don't know the real you. And it is ok, more than ok, to not give a damn when they no longer talk to you. I used to smile, but not anymore, and that is absolutely beyond-a-shadow ok. I've even thought about unfriending some of them, but I'm not that ok with not giving a damn.....yet.....
3) The old saying, "Be kind for everyone is fighting some battle." is so so so true. I know in #2 I said it was ok to not give a damn, but it is not ok to be unkind. We are all unkind at some time and point, what I'm saying is be careful be more thoughtful even if you need to stop midstride and reformat.
4) Be more intentional with everything and everyone. Be more intentional in your relationships, give more hugs and luvs. Be more intentional with people, make and keep those plans with friends; QUIT saying you're going to call use that energy and time and just MAKE THE CALL. This last two weeks, I've stopped short when I tell my son "Oh I'll call so and so later and see if we can have a play date." I immediately stop, text or call, and set up something. I've stopped short when I find myself being bitchy, apologize and let go with what ever is causing me to be a bitch.
5) Sometimes what we think is supposed to be our path, well it just isn't. It's hard, my friends, tear your heart out, hurt more than you ever thought it would hard. For some there may be a different path that takes you to the same destination. For others, it might just be the end of the path, the end of a dream. In order for you to live and move forward, you have to accept that.
Please do not think I'm being condescending or better than though, I'm not. These are all things I've learned about myself during this time.